little-spoiled-brat said: 2, 14, 24
2:Talk about your first kiss.
The whole story is somewhere on this Tumblr but I don’t feel like digging it out… the long and short of it is that it was disgustingly ideal, at the end of an delightfully nervous teenage date, after a several year flirtation, waiting to hit the 17th hole of a glow in the dark mini-putt. I just remember her singing along to whatever boyband song was playing, and me playfully telling her to cut it out, and she said “make me,” and I just knew that was my cue. I also remember kissing her as much as possible between that moment and her mom arriving to pick us up… and trying to get way further than I could reasonably expect.
14:Talk about a vacation.
You missed summa picking the same question, but here:
I’m the worst at vacations. I pretend I like them because you’re supposed to, but I get stressed about having to enjoy myself and experience the new setting. I hate having to find places to eat because I’m generally too uncomfortable to eat at all. For me, my ideal vacation was the weekend I spent in New York three years ago; I still gush about it to my friends. My last big one was to Vancouver, with my brothers, and there was a lot of stress involved in that, but the moments I could get away and just experience the city on my own were fun. (The moments where my brothers experienced the city on their own were also stressful.)
When I was a kid vacations were to our campsite where we had a trailer. It was largely a social thing, I had friends I could only see there, and there were activities, but not too much… I nourished my love of comics and writing there because there was so little else to do. We also did March Break at Niagara Falls, which was thrilling just to be in a hotel and surrounded by all those wonderful tacky tourist traps. “Mom, dad, can we do the Funhouse today? And the Haunted House? And the Guinness World Records place?” And then we’d see the falls (“Oh cool, water”) and go across the border and pretend like it was some big whoop to go shopping in a different country.
Of course, I may have some time to take a vacation in October, so… who knows.
24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.
I’ll never forget, about a year before that first kiss, another girl I liked rebuffing me by pointing out how terrible I was at hiding my fixation with her, and how I let this affect my mood all the time and basically let myself be a mopey bastard for all of Grade 10 hoping somehow my sadness would be, I guess, a turn-on.
What she told me in one of our last conversations before a year of non-communication, probably runs counter to what you’re supposed to tell someone, but it was the tough love I needed: “Nobody likes a mopey person.” I recognized it as truth right away, and after a while I absorbed the lesson that if I want people to be attracted to me, if I wanted to be someone people liked to know, I had to make alterations to my personality. It wasn’t that I had to fake my way through life and pretend to be happy, but I had to give up the self-absorbed delusion that I was involved in some kind of grand tragedy of a life, where my outwardly-expressed misery was going to make people sympathetic to me and give me attention. I had to get interested in other people, and offer them something in exchange for their time and attention. And then, if we got to know each other, I could open up and say “Hey, I’m feeling lousy today because of a girl.” And they’d care because they’d seen me being upbeat and warm, and I was otherwise a funny and nice person.
I flatter myself that more than a decade later I’ve long since absorbed that lesson and have made myself into the guy I envisioned being back then, but since then the horizon has moved and I’ve still got some work to do.
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