summacumnihil asked: October 14, 2006
Somehow, I’m treading those same old tracks.
It’s one of those nights, like what I’ve been writing about in Collection of Curiosities. The world is alive but the night is dead. I can feel the actions of others out there, but have none myself.
That’s been it so far. I know, it’s only 8:00, and I’ve been mentally writing this post for a little while now. But it’s weird. God knows where most of my friends are at. Some have school. Some are hanging around. Some hve parents’ birthdays. Some are at home, writing up a photography exhibit for the paper. Some are having house parties. Some have nothing.
I, myself, was supposed to be playing Risk this evening. Unfortunately, that fell apart. For its sake, I disregarded a perfectly good invitation out to Toronto. Maybe another time I’ll go. As it is, I’ve kept my plans limited to kicking around Oakville tonight and we’ll see how that works out.
"Curiosities" was a collection of short stories I was working on at the time (most of which have been edited, revised or re-imagined into oblivion as I’ve grown as a writer comma human being.) At the time I had nothing more to write about than having nothing to do, making trouble, moping, having romantic mismatches… well, that’s still true but I’m getting better at it.
This quote is basically the ur-Scotto from this period. Peak Scotto.
I call my junk The Winter Soldier because it’s in cryo-freeze most of the time and hasn’t had a decent haircut in years.
She rushes into the store like a whirlwind: “I need headphones.” I haven’t seen her here in months. I’ve only seen her at all a few times in the last year. I used to see her every day.
"I’m going to Costa Rica," she explains. Things have changed in her life. She needs to get away.
It’s very in-character. Two summers ago, her original plan was to drive across Russia, but when that fell through she spent the summer in Alberta with her then-boyfriend. When she left then, I thought there was a chance she’d never come back. I remember the last time I saw her before leaving, pacing in the back room, submitting to the fact that I’m not one for goodbyes.
She did come back, only to leave again the following year, moving to the next town over and starting up with him in an uncharacteristic display of domesticity. How well it worked, and why it ended, is not my knowledge, nor my place to judge. That was the second goodbye. We’ve gotten better at them.
Now Costa Rica, for a month “or maybe longer.” I’m not sure if there will be a goodbye party, or if it can be a goodbye party when you go months without seeing one another. At this point she is in a continuous state of going away. I just have to be lucky enough to sight her when she’s back. For the first time in years, her life is back to being the type of mess in which she’s always seems happiest, thriving.
She took a moment to catch up with the Assistant Manager: “What have you been up to?”
"Oh," he says, "I just got back from Vegas!"
"Vegas?" she says, "That place scares me.”
Weird day but I feel like I came out on top of it.
Almost said a show was “pretty okay” before doubling back to her profile to check whether it was listed as one of her favourites. It totally was.
Self-censorship is the new sexy.
k, it’s time for this mopey boy-man to go to sleep
I listened to some early 2000s radio pop things are better.